Monday, April 6, 2009

So Spaketh Bobby!

What an unmitigated dorkwad!
Bobby Jindal says in his best evil Mr. Rogers voice, "Wow, 15 million dollars for a volcano monitoring system. What a waste of money! What pork! What a glaring earmark for the un-American scientific community. What is a volcano anyway? Sounds like Al Quida to me! You ever see a volcano except on TV? Me neither, and that just shows how intellectually honest I am and what a down to earth cracker I can be. In fact, I'm channeling a toothless hoople right now..."

I'm pretty sure this was a grooming exercise and a way to get that glorious dunderhead some national air time making a fool of himself for the team. Who actually gives a shit what that milquetoast hosebag has to say?
The guy's a state governor for Tapdancing Christ's sake and he came across like an ignorant bag of shit,
just outside your front door,
on fire,
and the doorbell just rang.

Meanwhile, up in Alaska, Mount Redoubt was fixing to explain the situation to Bobby & the fantastically dumbass Republicans & show just what monitoring can accomplish, if you pay for it.

As the dipshit neocon hammerheads bumble around on the deck of the Republitanic, yet another volcano threatens more lives at the Llaima volcano in Chile and of course the BIG Italian Shake-up, dismissed by another right wing political douche wank, Berlusconi, has cost over 250 innocent lives "unwarned" because he fired the Ghostbuster.

I love this whole scenario unfolding in Italy with
Gioacchino Giuliani the seismologist warning people to leave the area and Berlusconi & his henchman the Italian Tubesteak Bertolaso throw the guy out & tell him to shut up. Quote the Tubesteak, “These imbeciles enjoy spreading false news … Everyone knows that you can’t predict earthquakes."

Uh, COULDN'T predict earthquakes assmunch!
It's called science, progress, education & you suck Bertolaso!

Giuliani, who through years of study & scientific research has enough info to make an informed decision and save countless souls from the "unpredictable" earthquake in a long recognized hot zone that has an earthquake a day since the year DOT.
His life's work realized! He's making the biggest difference a vulcanologist can make.
Then there's a guy who after many viewings of shabby fantasy movies where scientists are portrayed as power mad jackoffs, believes what he sees, 100% percent, without doubt and applies these Hollywood "facts" to a potentially immense catastrophe.

Enter Mother Nature.

She's carrying a rolling pin & she shoves it forthwith up their political asses!

Or should I thank God actually?

He's the one who brought the earthquake RIGHT when the bitches were being their bitchiest.
Of course in the tradition of the biggest of all known bitches, he makes his point by brutally killing a bunch of people. If you ask me God doesn't deserve to be believed in. He's such a prick!

Meanwhile, in the States.
I mean it was about a day after Jindal opened his GOP-sub pie hole that God let fly with the lava. No?

That speaks volumes as far as I'm concerned.
God was like, "REALLY! Volcano monitoring is pork? Let's have a barbecue!"

Get the picture? God came out against the neocons. They've hidden behind him too long and he's tired of the lies and bending over their pages and screwing the help. At least liberals don't use him to cover their asses and after a couple millennium of this crap, he's got to be itching for some payback.
I'll bet he does like three or four half-Raptures. Like he only calls their butts into heaven & they have to figure out why, in his infinite wisdom, they can't sit comfortably.

I can't wait for the Rapture either. There will be an immediate easing of traffic and this recession will be over! Pollution will be roughly a third of what it was. And ultimately, along with some very hot home computers (loaded with porn), wide screen TVs and sound systems, there's going to be some sweet rides LEFT BEHIND... I call the black Porsche with the bobble-head Jesus!